Car Crazy Callie
by ThePizzaLovingTurtle
Summary: A rough start to a day only gets rougher as Callie attempts to drive to work by herself, with Marie leaving her in the dust and without any milk to her cereal. It can only end so well.


**Splatoon: Car Crazy Callie**

Footsteps echoed as one lone Inkling stepped into a parking lot. She bit her lip, reached into her pockets, and pulled out a key. It shimmered in the light of day. As she made her way through the asphalt, her black and pink tentacles bounced slightly, the feeling of dread encompassing her. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it now.

She mentally recapped the events of the morning that led to this moment. Her home's alarm clock ran out of batteries, causing her to wake up late. She woke up frantically and had to dress at what she presumed the speed of sound if she wanted to make even the most futile attempts at getting to work, nearly causing a tear in her black and pink outfit that matched her tentacles. Even her darn breakfast was ruined: Her roommate totally wasted the milk. And hardly bothered to wake her up too!

She frowned just thinking of the infuriating events. But if she wanted to make it to work at all, then she would need to get in her car and drive. Only problem was, she was somewhat nervous. There was a reason that she and her roommate usually walked to work. Hardly to preserve gas.

Mostly to prevent Callie from stepping on the gas.

The more juvenile of the Squid Sisters raised the metal key up to the sun, where it glinted almost ominously. Each and every single step closer appeared to make the world cower in fear. However, if she were to make the hourly stage rotation updates, she would have to make haste. She began breaking into a light jog, eventually reaching the metal chassis. Sticking the key in the slot of the door, she entered the car, making sure she retrieved the steel tool. She reinserted the key into a slot by the steering wheel she now sat at and stared at the controls.

" _Okay, so there are pedals, one's a brake for stopping, there's a shift, and there's the wheel."_ Callie mentally recapped, stretching her fingers.

She gulped. But which pedal was the break again…? Beads of violet sweat dripped down her face slowly. Callie snuck a peek at the digital clock installed to the side. Already it was looking like the deadline for the news was reaching its peak. She panicked, if she wanted to get to her job, she needed to go now. She stared down at the pedals, and set her foot down lightly on what she assumed to be the accelerator.

Callie jolted forward, her car crashing into the apartment high-rise building adjacent to the parking lot. She blinked, an airbag exploding into her face. She groaned, stuffing the cushion back into its container for another time, frowning. She forgot to put the automobile in reverse! The black and pink Inkling groaned, planting her head into the steering wheel. Shortly afterwards, she reached for the shift to her side, pulling it back. Making sure that the symbol by the shift indicated that it was in "reverse", she once again put pedal to the metal. Callie jolted back from the wall, the clattering of steel making her cringe somewhat, but nevertheless-

"Eek!" She squeaked, watching as the building and parking lot became increasingly farther away.

Gripping the shift once more, she resumed the regular locomotion of the vehicle, her tentacles wrapping around her head as the vehicle stopped abruptly. Now once again in control, she blew the tentacles off her face, glaring at the road. This time Callie tapped the pedal lightly, biting her lip as the car lurched forward. She smiled, adjusting the rear view mirror in her car. Suddenly, she noticed the sky growing larger. She also noticed how despite having taken her foot off of the pedal, she was still rolling. And at a considerably fast speed. She gulped.

Then screamed as she zoomed down the hill.

* * *

Marie sat in her beach chair, looking out from her and Callie's studio in Inkopolis Plaza with a frown. She had really tried waking Callie up, using methods such as yelling, slapping, and she even considered using chilled water. Only that would probably kill her. So she dressed up, used up all of the milk, (she had considered leaving a note, but shrugged it off) ate breakfast, and started walking, leaving the keys to the black with pink and green accents vehicle to her cousin.

That being said, she became increasingly worried. Yes, that her co-host would not be able to make the news, but also for the rest of Inkopolis. Now that she remembered the issues that arose the last couple times Callie drove, she considered calling multiple ambulances. But there was no time left. It was only a handful of minutes until the news started…

* * *

"How many more minutes do I have?!" Callie gasped out, staring at the clock.

I literally just said how many minutes. But since Callie ignored the narrator, she only caught a glimpse of "something something seven or six" before she was pushed right back into the action. She yelped, already traffic seemed like an obstacle in itself as if the time limit was not already deadly enough to her punctuality. A line of vehicles filled with sea creatures sat in front of her. As she was still rolling from the momentum of the hill, she slammed the brake pedal, hoping that it would be enough to stop.

Unfortunately for her, the car in front was shorter, and just about where the hill's decline stopped. Her eyes shot open as her own vehicle was launched into the air despite all reasonable physics. A curiosity suddenly took hold, prompting Callie to look out the side window. Those waiting in traffic and on the sidewalk stopped and stared as they saw one of the top pop icons of Inkopolis fly through the air. Blinking, Callie simply gave them a little pose, lifting her flat to the ground, hands shaking with a smile, as she landed on the top of a few buildings.

At that point, literally everyone watching stopped to contemplate life with wide eyes, the drivers hardly noticing the traffic light shining green.

Despite her little "publicity stunt" giving Callie some confidence, the fact that she was leagues above the ground in terms of height now was less than reassuring. Everytime she thought she would fall off a building and crash a fiery death, her car would flip in the air over to the next building. For a while, Callie rolled with it.

She stared at the digital clock, then towards the rooftops ahead. "I can make it! Look at you Callie! Driving master, if I do say so myself."

She laughed. Then stopped when she realized that the last rooftop she saw was a few dozen feet (or at least another building's length) away. That and she was still heading straight for it like a shooting star. Her face went pale as the car launched off the top of the last apartment building she was on.

* * *

"Callie, Marie, we're on in two minutes!" A voice called from the side, which Marie affirmed with a nod and a sigh.

Her gloved hand on her cheek, she sighed, perhaps Callie was too busy sleeping. Marie could do the newscast by herself, but she was looking forward to letting Callie do most of the talking, then come in with a sick new burn she was working on. Luckily for her, it seemed that Callie was actually just in the nick of time. A thud shook the building for a moment, and Marie wondered if the security staff had been overrun by rabid fans for a moment.

"Hi Marie!" Callie chimed in gleefully, nearly causing Marie to jump out of her chair.

"Callie?!" Marie gasped, holding on the edge of her seat, blinking.

Her cousin/co-host nodded gleefully, twirling around in her pop star outfit. "You ready to go?"

Marie just blinked, staring at her as she twirled, finally getting off her chair onto her feet. "S-Sure?"

Leading the way, Callie made her way in front of a set of cameras ready and willing to start the day as Marie looked to the side, wondering if this was some form of elaborate prank.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the receptionist desk below, an Inkling wearing a clean suit stared at a car now embedded in the front of the building where a set of opulent glass doors once stood, now reduced to fragments.

"...Well, I can't say this isn't the first time this has happened." She frowned.

* * *

AN: Driving can be stressful.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, don't drink and drive. Or be Callie and drive. See you.


End file.
